Table of Contents
Introduction
Jaimini listened as the birds explained Draupadi's marriage to the five princes and about Indra. He had received the answer to his second question. The birds sat quietly, waiting. When Jaimini finally nodded, acknowledging his understanding and signifying his readiness, they spoke. "The second question is answered, we shall now proceed to address the third, concerning the Balarama."
The Gathering in Upaplavya
"Thirteen years of exile had passed. The Pandava princes were now ready to claim their kingdom. Krishna, Balarama and many other Yadavas had come to meet the Pandavas in the city of Upaplavya, capital of the Matsya kingdom. This was an occasion to meet the Pandavas, whom they had not seen for thirteen years and discuss how the Pandavas were planning to ask for their kingdom."
"Balarama listened to the conversations. He heard some say that war was inevitable and he heard Krishna say that Pandavas deserved their kingdom back. He agreed when he heard Krishna say they should first talk about a peaceful settlement. Why have a war when things could be settled amicably? Balarama liked this idea. He also had a soft corner for Duryodhana who had learnt the skill of using the mace, from him. He knew his student. If the Pandavas tried to be aggressive, Duryodhana would feel cornered and would make any negotiation, impossible. Balarama suggested to try the option of peace. He was sure Duryodhana would agree.”
Balarama's Plea and Krishna's Choice
“Krishna and Balarama left the Mastya kingdom for Dwaraka."
"When in Dwaraka, Krishna said he would participate in the war but not lift any weapons. Arjuna wanted Krishna's moral support and Krishna agreed to Arjuna's guide. Duryodhana had also come to Dwaraka. Krishna gave the Kaurava prince, the army of Dwaraka."
"“By placing himself on the same side as Arjuna, even without wielding a weapon, Krishna has tilted the balance,” Balarama murmured to himself. “The war will be fought with strategy and Krishna is unmatched in that. This is no fair battle.”"
"He was then informed that Duryodhana had come to meet him."
"Balarama received him. Duryodhana said, "We are preparing for war. The Pandavas have Krishna’s allegiance. Will you not fight by my side?”"
"Balarama told Duryodhana he did not support the war and wanted peace. Seeing he would not get Balarama’s support, Duryodhana left.”"
Decision for Neutrality
“Balarama, restless and deep in thought, paced the length of his room. His mind was unable to settle. Revati, his wife, watched him quietly. She knew about Balarama’s moods. They were fleeting. When his mind was troubled, it was best to leave him in peace. He would come around soon."
"Why did Krishna have to participate in the war and that too support the Pandavas? Because of his close friendship with Arjuna? He knew Krishna to be someone who embodied dharma."
"Balarama could not understand Krishna’s choice. At the same time, he could not stand against him. To defy Krishna would be to defy dharma."
"He looked at Revati. “Let them have their war,” he murmured. “Let the brothers fight and destroy themselves. I will not participate in this war.””
The Pilgrimage Begins
““What am I to do, Revati? Fight Duryodhana? Fight Bhima? Fight Krishna? If I raise my plough, I will be dividing them, drawing a furrow. If I take a side, I become part of the bloodshed. What dharma is this that leaves no room for peace?” Revati stood close to him. She knew he would calm down. She was always there, to listen to her husband. "You are the elder one,” she said. “You are not meant to choose sides. Sometimes, to preserve dharma, one must step away.” Balarama looked at her. He said, “I think I have my answer. I will detach myself totally. I will go on a pilgrimage.”
""If you go on a pilgrimage, my Lord," Revati said, "then I shall go with you." Soon news of the pilgrimage spread through the household. Several other women expressed their desire to accompany Balarama and Revati. And so, a small contingent prepared to leave for pilgrimage."
"With dawn approaching, Balarama, with Revati and the other royal women following, began their pilgrimage. They stopped at Prayaag and flowers into the rivers. They journeyed northwards to Gaya and offered prayers to the ancestors. They went to the holy city of Varanasi. Likewise, they continued travelling along the country.”
An Unexpected Encounter
“One day, after weeks of travel and many pilgrim sites visited, they came upon a forest. It was like nothing they had seen before. Ripe fruits hung on trees. Lotuses were blooming in ponds and streams. Bees were flying around the flowers. This place was Naimisharanya, the forest that would be untouched by the effects of the age of Kali. Balarama and his retinue walked deeper into this forest. They stepped through a curtain of vines and stepped into a glade. Sunlight poured through the canopy. A group of sages were seated on the ground. They were listening to one figure who sat at the centre. This person's back was turned to the newcomers. He was an elderly person. He was reciting from the Puranas."
"Earlier that day, Balarama had indulged in wine. The journey had been long and also with the thoughts of the war in his mind, he had more than what he should have consumed. He stepped into the glade, inebriated. He reached out, grabbing the vines for support. The sages who had been sitting listening to the speaker noticed this. One by one, they rose silently and began to leave."
"The storyteller did not notice. Lost in his thoughts, his eyes were closed. He kept speaking. Balarama stood at the edge of the glade, watching the sages leave. Behind him, Revati stood.”
The Unthinkable Act
“Balarama perceived this as a deliberate slight. The storyteller’s continued narration and his apparent ignorance of the royal presence that had entered the glade, pricked at Balarama’s pride. He was under the influence of wine, his senses were dulled and his judgment was fogged. The storyteller’s indifference was something he could not digest. The sages had noticed him, had risen and walked away. This lone figure had remained as though Balarama’s presence did not matter."
"Anger swelled in Balarama's chest. "How dare this storyteller," Balarama slurred, "fail to show respect to me?""
"Without thinking he lurched forward. In a sudden movement, he struck the storyteller. The frail man crumpled where he sat."
"Some sages had lingered around and they stood in disbelief. These sages turned and fled, taking the name of Brahman."
"Balarama stood there, the weight of what had just passed not yet fully reaching him.”
Penance and the Path to Absolution
“Revati gasped."
"As clarity began to return to Balarama, he stood staring at the lifeless body sprawled before him. The silence was accusatory. He looked down at his hands."
"He had now struck down an unarmed man. A Brahmin. The person he had killed was Romaharṣaṇa, a story teller. Technically the story teller was not a brahmin but as a disciple of Vyasa and a narrator of the Puranas he was more than a brahmin."
"A wave of revulsion rose within Balarama. He stepped back."
"“What have I done?” Balarama whispered, looking at Revati. “I began this journey seeking peace and to distance myself from the war. I have brought destruction where there was peace. What should I do? I am tainted with this man’s blood. I cannot breathe.”"
"He wanted relief. He thought of the river Sarasvati. The river which flowed under the ground. Unlike rivers which flowed towards the seas, this holy river had diverted its course. Instead of flowing on the ground, this river was flowing underground. This river was known to wash away all sins. The hidden river for him was like a silent path to redemption. He could go there and atone for his sin."
"“I will go to the river,” he said. “I will bathe waters and wash away this curse that clings to me. I will wander for twelve years. I will leave behind every indulgence. Only after I feel clean I return to Dvaraka.”"
"Revati and the others said they would accompany him."
"They quickly left the site and went ahead, looking for the hidden river Sarasvati.”
Some more on this
Decision to remain neutral and detaching himself from the war can be seen as an exploration of detachment in spiritual life. In Vedanta detachment is regarded as a necessary quality of a seeker.
Sankarshana (Balarama’s divine counterpart) is known for his balance and his role in restoring equilibrium. His neutrality in this situation can be seen as his attempt to bring equilibrium to the dharma of the world.
Pilgrimage represents a journey of inner purification where the devotee seeks to reconnect with the divine.
The incident in the forest represents a moral downfall for Balarama. The act of violence he commits shows the concept of ego. His violent outburst is a symbol of the unchecked power of the ego. Balarama Ego blinds a person and causes one to act irrationally and unjustly.
The act of striking down a Brahmin or a person of wisdom, is considered a sin. Balarama’s act is a violation of Dharma. This is an unnatural act. His remorse signals the first step toward recognizing his false identification with the ego and moving towards redemption.
On realizing the gravity of his situation, Balarama seeks redemption. The river Sarasvati becomes the symbol of self-purification. The underground flow of Sarasvati represents the hidden path to redemption that cannot be easily seen by others. Sarasvati symbolizes a path of purification that is silent, internal, and secret.
Balarama's vow to wander for twelve years signals a long journey of atonement, where he renounces all pleasures and comforts.
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